"Pool of Bethesda"

"Pool of Bethesda" by Carl Heinrich Bloch

Look. Just take a look at the painting above. So many people move around within, yet there stands one dressed in white, granting the desire of a man crippled so badly he cannot drag himself a few feet into the water.

This weekend my boyfriend and I went BYU’s Museum of Art. One of my homework assignments was to sit and look at this painting: “The Pool of Bethesda.”

As I sat down, looking at the painting, my boyfriend read John 5:1-16. As the words were read, I kept wondering why, why did Christ choose only one of the invalids to heal? Surely he loved all those who were there suffering…

Then the part comes in the scriptures where we are informed the man has been waiting 38 years. Christ was able to heal this man because of his great faith. Patience fueled faith in this particular man as he waited hoping for a day of healing, despite his poor circumstances.

Looking at the painting further, I see on the left there appears to be a cluster of people without any ailments and the two windows are dark, not giving much light. Christ is also standing on the left. I realize this symbolizes how the Jews rejected what was right in front of them, bringing darkness to their lives rather than light. In contrast on the right side of the painting are more people experiencing the hardship of disabilities. There is only one window, yet it sheds forth more light than the two on the left. Christ is not with them and yet they are there waiting for the opportunity to try their faith by entering the pool of water when it begins to ripple. It's a classic portrayal of the “blind shall see and the deaf shall hear;" whereas those who are privileged and lack faith also lack the pure light of Christ in their lives, though it is available for them to partake.

What side do I stand on? Surely, I am not an invalid. I can walk, breathe, and see just like any normal person. But do I want to be grouped in with the people on the left? No. No. No.

I may not have the trial of blindness or the inability to walk, but I do have trials. I have a bad back. I struggle with classes. I lose my temper from time to time. I assume the worst at times. I am a sick person.

But there is no worry. I have one window I can see. My ever-enlightening ray of sunshine pours in through the window. The One who can heal me is Christ. The Savior and Redeemer of all mankind. Christ looks after the one. I am the one, you are the one. We are each seen as individuals.

The decision is mine. Do I choose to ignore what is right in front of me? Or do I look up to the light and bask in the warmth of his healing?

The Book

Its pages are filled with enlightenment and yet some shun it. Why? Because it is not always easy to understand, nor does it fit into your day unless it is a priority.

Within we can find peace and joy, yet often it is left on the shelf.

Bound with daily nutrients, some days we go without, replacing it with chips n’ dip.

Why do we forget the most important daily vitamin? Why do we put our health at risk?

Health is not just physical. It is all encompassing. Your mind, your soul, your body. Emotions. Spirituality. Physicality. Health is all these things.

Do you forgo the water after a long hard workout? Do you forget to brush your teeth each morning? Probably not because they are essential and routine.

This book I speak of is dear to my heart. In the pages I have found solutions to the longings of my soul. However, I too am guilty of skipping out on all this book has to offer.

The Book of Mormon is something we cannot live without. If you have read it before, you know what I say is true. Have you not yet let your eyes gaze its pages, I invite you to do so, because those pages are full of happiness. Ponder the teachings of those who have gone before us. They are wise and can help us navigate this falling world. Happiness was not left in the 1950s, but we too in the 21^st Century can achieve that happiness which flows pure and strong—without 50 shades of disaster or self-destructing pressures of the world.

Discover the book. Love the book. Live by the book. Have happiness.

Word's of Wisdom from Pixar

Last week BYU had a forum where Edwin Catmull, President of Pixar Animation, came and spoke to us. I look back and laugh because the events that happened following that forum had me looking at life thinking there’s no way I can accomplish my dreams.

In his address Catmull had many great one-liners, my favorite was: “If you aren’t failing you aren’t trying new things.” Little did I know this was foreshadowing the failure that awaited on my horizon.

I went to Chinese class and I failed. Big time. So big in fact I knew at that moment my ability to speak this language did not mean I was anywhere near being capable of reading and writing at a 200 college class level. After talking to my teacher and an advisor I decided to withdraw from the class. Technically it’s not failing, but at that very moment I felt like a failure. All my studying hadn’t paid off and I was no longer a full-time student. I also decided I wasn’t going to minor in Chinese anymore. What am I going to do with my life now?

“If you aren’t failing you aren’t trying new things.”

The words rung through my ears throughout the day. Then at the end of the night after salsa dancing with my boyfriend, he grabbed my hand and we ran outside, like Ben being chased by Jerry (an old cartoon reference for those of you sitting there like...ummm?). We stopped abruptly in front of a sign by the library and he asked me to read it out loud. My heart caught in my throat, as I choked out, “You can do hard things.”

I can do hard things. We can all do hard things. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them. Catmull also said, “We don’t look backwards for excuses we look backwards for lessons.”

Sure I didn’t make it in Chinese 201, but you know what? I’m going to make it in Chinese 112 and I am going to figure out a way to change the world as I learn from each failure.

As Remy, from Ratatouille, said, “The only thing predictable about life is its unpredictability.”

First Week in the Real World

Sometimes I wonder if I am cut out for this world. This academic world of going to class, studying three hours for every one hour of class, having to work, exercise, oh and eat somewhere in between.

Friday I really questioned whether or not I could do this whole going to school and working two jobs thing. After a bad quiz in Chinese, a language I can speak pretty fluently and understand, but am considered illiterate because I can’t really read or write, I was about ready to quit school. I was walking to lunch and I could feel a monsoon building up in the back of my eyes.

Then a random guy stopped me in the Tanner Building at BYU and asked me to take a quick survey. My thoughts, which were completely consumed with throwing daggers at my self-esteem, were called to look outside of myself as I took the simple survey. Then the monsoon clouds behind my eyes faded like vinegar on stainless steel.

I realized at that moment I had ceased showing my love for the Lord because I had been hating myself. Me, a daughter of the Most High, and I was piling trash on my divine heritage. I quickly reverted my thoughts to heaven and thought of how Heavenly Father views me. I am his daughter and he loves me. Heavenly Father knows my potential and is cheering for me to succeed.

As Henry David Thoreau said, “What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when you bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen.”

My soul is a daughter of a King. It lies concealed within me, as does my potential, but as I work and grow it will make manifest my heavenly genetics.

Christmas All Year

Well, Christmas has officially come and gone throughout the world and yet my heart is still full.

Before my mission each Christmas it seemed as if I was filled with a certain giddiness that only came once a year that made me extra sensitive to the feelings of Christ as I celebrated His birth. However, this year--and even last year on my mission in Australia--those rush of emotions didn't come flooding in as the dams of Christmas season were opened up and I found myself wondering if I'd lost my sensitivity.

But now as I am writing after all the presents are unwrapped, family visits made, and food over-eaten I find that there is a special warmth lingering in my heart. It is the warmth that I felt practically every hour as a missionary for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It came on my mission as I took time and energy to make Christ the center of each day and as I invited others to do the same. As Christmas came the past two years the rush of emotions weren't accompanying the decorations that fill the mall or the music that spills out of family radio stations. I've realized that's okay because I've been holding Christ's light near to my heart these past 18+ months of my life. It is why right now after all the splendor of Christmas has past that my heart remains so very full...

Christmas Spirit has becomes a year-round feeling in my life. I know I am far from perfect, but that's the whole idea! You don't need to be perfect to experience the light of Christ in day to day life; just another marvelous thing about the atonement of Christ.

As President Thomas S. Monson has said, "The Spirit of Christmas is indeed the Christ Spirit." As we enter the new year may we all carry Christ with us.