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Sunday, January 11, 2015

First Week in the Real World

Sometimes I wonder if I am cut out for this world. This academic world of going to class, studying three hours for every one hour of class, having to work, exercise, oh and eat somewhere in between.

Friday I really questioned whether or not I could do this whole going to school and working two jobs thing. After a bad quiz in Chinese, a language I can speak pretty fluently and understand, but am considered illiterate because I can’t really read or write, I was about ready to quit school. I was walking to lunch and I could feel a monsoon building up in the back of my eyes.

Then a random guy stopped me in the Tanner Building at BYU and asked me to take a quick survey. My thoughts, which were completely consumed with throwing daggers at my self-esteem, were called to look outside of myself as I took the simple survey. Then the monsoon clouds behind my eyes faded like vinegar on stainless steel.

I realized at that moment I had ceased showing my love for the Lord because I had been hating myself. Me, a daughter of the Most High, and I was piling trash on my divine heritage. I quickly reverted my thoughts to heaven and thought of how Heavenly Father views me. I am his daughter and he loves me. Heavenly Father knows my potential and is cheering for me to succeed.

As Henry David Thoreau said, “What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when you bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen.”

My soul is a daughter of a King. It lies concealed within me, as does my potential, but as I work and grow it will make manifest my heavenly genetics.